Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
