I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
