I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
