As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
