So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
