Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
