i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
