Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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