Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
