Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
where am i from again
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
