Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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