Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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