dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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