Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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