Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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