I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
