Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
