How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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