Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening