I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.