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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

  (207): View more from Maine

  What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sleeping with just one person sucks

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity

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• (315): View more from New York

  I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.

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