Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

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  (713): Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight http://tfl.nu/37pc
  Replies (22) Good night (768) Bad night (2414)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies

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  (804): no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies http://tfl.nu/gwy7
  Replies (18) Good night (3991) Bad night (1390)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex

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  (404): I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex http://tfl.nu/l7ka
  Replies (44) Good night (7491) Bad night (813)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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  (413): I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick. http://tfl.nu/84fo
  Replies (15) Good night (2097) Bad night (6640)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across

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  (918): Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across http://tfl.nu/uhsj
  Replies (11) Good night (3668) Bad night (1063)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (7418) Bad night (997)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..

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  (410): And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love.. http://tfl.nu/9pu8
  Replies (19) Good night (5275) Bad night (1240)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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  (775): It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning http://tfl.nu/pt0t
  Replies (4) Good night (2422) Bad night (884)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.

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  (763): Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/4ttc
  Replies (4) Good night (1788) Bad night (781)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sprained his penis one time

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

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  (603): He sprained his penis one time (603): He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis http://tfl.nu/1fye
  Replies (21) Good night (626) Bad night (2250)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.

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  (973): Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool. http://tfl.nu/yku5
  Replies (16) Good night (569) Bad night (2830)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away

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  (585): Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away http://tfl.nu/gctj
  Replies (18) Good night (1728) Bad night (907)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.

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  (803): One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big. http://tfl.nu/i8v0
  Replies (10) Good night (1100) Bad night (520)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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  (571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (576)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.

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  (978): some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW. http://tfl.nu/nny8
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (314)

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