yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
