Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
