um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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