i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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