im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize