she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
