wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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