I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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