I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
