I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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