There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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