Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
