All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
