I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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