More tranny stories later!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I want her autograph on my taint
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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