Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
