I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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