Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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