Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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