Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
