I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
