Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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