Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
