yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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