you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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