did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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