and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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