need another drink. this is the easiest way
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
