i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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