Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
