When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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