this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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