Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
