did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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