Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
