Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
