we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
