dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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