A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
