So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
