Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
