I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
