i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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