YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
