its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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